The Most Pain I have Ever Felt

On july 10, 2009 at 3:48 A.M. I felt the most pain that I had ever felt in my life.  I lost all my bodily functions due to what had just taken place. No control over the human anatomy, no control over the situation. I was devistated.  My world would never be the same again. You may say that is way too dramatic, I think not, let me tell you my story.

One cool morning on Aug, 28th. my phone rang at about 5 or 5:30, on the other end was my step father telling me that he was on the way to the hospital with my mother, she was sweaty and clamy.  She had been complaining of chest pains, which she wrote off as G.E.R.D. ( Gasterol Eusaphagus Reflux Desease), he persuaded her they should go to the ER..  He thought I should come and meet him at the hospital.  I quickly called my other sister and told her about the call from my step father. She in turn called my other sister and we all 3 met at the hospital.  We took turns going in the E.R to see my mom although she was not very coherant.  We determined we should call our 4th sister in West Virgina, we did, and explained to her that our mom may have had a heart attack and that they are running test now. She soon called back and said she was on her way

That morning began a journey that I do not wish on anyone in the world.  The next few hours many test were ran and it was confirmed my mom had a massive heart attack.  She had only 10% of her heart working. 

How would we survive, our mom was all we had.  She is the strength of our family, every birthday party every Christmas, every Easter, every picnic, every dinner. every problem, every situation. she is always the center of our functions and always has an answer or comment. She is the matriarc of our family.  We stick together like glue. We always remained close to my mom within a 12 mile radius, with the exception of my sister that lives in West Virgina.  This can't be happening.  We cried , we prayed, God please don't take her,  I especially was destraught, I felt as though my breath was stopped and I cpuld not in hail.  I have no children and my mother was my everything, I am the youngest of all the girls. My mom is my friend, my counselor, my confidant, you name it. My sisters and I are blessed to have her, with no dad around our mom is our all. 

The next 52 days unravelled a roller coaster of ups and downs.  She ws moved to ICU.  My mom was placed on oxygen, a heart Pump, ventilator and many medicines.  We were told by the doctors over and over, be prepared.  She will not make it, they continued to tell us, be prepared and we continued to pray and believe God for a miracle. Please God don't take her yet, we need her, let her stay a little longer.

Although my mom was on life support we would take turns alternating in the ICU, we never left her alone.  Even though she didn't know we were there, we would not leave her. The nurses would say , go home and rest, if you girls get sick who will take care of you.  We didn't care, it was our mom and we would not let her die alone if that was to be her fate.  Each day brought something new, a difibulater was placed in side my mom, along with a pace maker both were risky surgery's that the doctor again said she may not come out of alive .  Each surgey she had, she came out of.  She continually went back on life support.

One day I called during the day, as I had done many days and my step father said that they took the ventilator out and my mom was sitting up in the chair, I said what.. he said she sure is.. I said put the phone to her ear.  I spoke to her but she couldn't really speak since she had the tube down her throught for so long.  Nurses and staff in the ER came up to her room to see the miracle lady.  Mrs. Powers.  They too could not believe their eyes. The lady that had been at deaths door was now sitting in a chair, smiling, and eating.

It wasn't long until we spread the word to all the sisters and we were back at the hospital to see mom.  Wow! she was gonna pull through against the odds, the DR's had already buried her but there she was sitiing up in the chairs. Those big blues eyes...Thank you to all the nurses and Dr' B for all you did for my mom, thank God too. 

Over the next few weeks mom grew strong and her heart was getting strong as well. Therapy began and she began her long road to recovery.  We moved mom and my step father in with my sister, her house is larger than mine.  My mom was not able to climb her stairs in her old apartment anymore due to the heart attack so we needed to do something different.  Therefore she and my step father moved in with my sister for the meantime.  Things went well as my moms heart increased to 24%, which the DR.'s counted a miracle. 

My mom and step father bought a trailer home and they started living a very close to normal life.  Many changes had to take place, medications had to be administered but she was able to live a very productive life.  She was able to clean house, do laundry, vacuum, all this.  No one could believe it, therapists and other medical folks thought somene did all this for her but no, she did it.  She was even able to drive.

It seemed all was going well we got her back, we loved on her and made over her, a second chance to have momma with us.  I acted like a little girl so many times.  I would crawl in the bed with her, I would comb her hair.  I didn't care, that's my mom and I am gonna love all over her.  My sisters did the same.

But one day just like the first I received a call 3 years later on Easter morning 2009.  I was in West Virginia visiting my sister and the phone rang.  My stomach sank, somehow I knew it..it was mom.  She was back in the hospital.  When I arrived back home I went to see her, my step father said she was doing well.  she had congestive heart failure, and they were trying to get the water off her.  For the next few month's she was in and out of the hospital, battling the water retetion.

One weekend my sister was to come up as she and my brother in law were going to build a deck off of my mom's front part of her trailer.  By the time they arrived my mom had to be taken to the ER as she had 6 pounds of water on her.  The ER began to try and get the water off but it was not working. Nursing staff and Dr's said she was getting better but we could see she wasn't. I will never forget when Dr. B arrived my mom got so excited, she said Dr. B's here, so much excitment in her voice, she had so much confidence in him.

One night my sister and I were at the hospital visiting my mom, she wasn't doing very well.  She was very uncomfortable.  She was restless and could not seem to get settled.  My sister and I got her up to walk her to the bathroom and back to the bed. She sat on the edge of the bed and said to me and my sister, do you think I am gonna die.  We said mom, only God knows that.  We both looked at each other with concern and fear.  She kept asking us not to leave her, so we satayed but everytime we would try to go she would ask again.  Finally we said ma, we have to go we have work tomorrow.  We kissed her and left.  We got out side and got in the car.  Then decided to uneasy so we went back, she knew we were there and said, awe you guys came back.  I am glad.  So we sat with her for a while.  then they ended up moving her to another floor because she continued to retain water, she needed to be observed closer so off to another floor.  We helped get her settled in, they ordered a catheder hoping that she get water off that way. 

She seemed to be resting so we slipped away.  I couldn't wait to get into bed and feel quik to sleep, only to be awakened by my step father's phone call at 1am saying that mom was not doing well and they had moved her to ICU.  I called my sister and then I flew over to Gottleib, my sister and I arrived exactly at the same time.  We went to ICU and there my mom lay with oxygen.  She was very uncomfortanble, groaning and asking for water, and we, all the time trying to get her to be silent so she could reserve her strength.

I will never forget what happened next, I was sitting in the chair to the right of my mom's bed at the head of it.  My sister was holding my mom's right hand and my stepfather was rubbing her feet.  My sister and I were discussing taking work off the next day since this was a bad situation and we should be there.  I agreed and as we continued back and forth I witnessed my mom's body jump about 2 or 3 inches off the bed.  My sister said what was that, I said that was the difibulater.  Which meant the defibulater had tried to shock her heart.  I jumped up, immediatly looked at the monitor as we were used to watching my moms, hert rate, oxygen rate etc.  I saw the line flat.. I ran out to the nurses station I said my mom , help.  Her monitor is flat.. The nurse came in, called a code blue and had us leave the room. 

What happens in the next 20 to 40 minutes was surreal.  I heard and saw them working on her, trying to get life back in her.  She was gone.  Never to return.  My mom,.. gone.. no..I lost control of my limbs, I had to throw up, use the bathroom, everything at once, I felt a pain like I have never felt before.  I gaged and urinated on my self trying to make it to the bathroom as my bodily functions went hay wire.  When I finally regained ontrol of my flesh I went back to hear what news I already knew.  Mom had gone home to be with our Lord. Never before had I felt such pain.   This was the most pain I had ever felt in my life.

Mom has been gone for over a year now, July 10th. 2009 changed my life forever more.  It is the day I felt the most pain of my life. Live, Love and Laugh.was mom;s favorite saying.